you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
