dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
