i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
