I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just had sex on a roof
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
