He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
