i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
