My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
