Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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