the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You're like the curious george of whores
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
