im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
