I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
