I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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