Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It's never too late to be topless.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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