We won't sleep together?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
