You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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