At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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