I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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