I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
