She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
