to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
