i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I deserve this hangover.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
