I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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