You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
