some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
