Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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