I want to stick my p in your. b.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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