Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
