I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
