he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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