It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
