Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
