So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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