Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
