The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
