Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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