Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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