I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
