This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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