I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
