what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
