I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
