I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
