is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
