I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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