His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
