so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
