She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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