When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
