I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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