i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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