Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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